Sunday, February 26, 2006
OMG. THIS JUST HAPPENED.
wans: dong dong dong, 1 2 3
belle: what?!
wans: wrong! kushin bo!
wans: dong dong dong, 1 2 3
belle: kushin bo!
wans: wrong! suntec tower 1 level 3
wans: dong dong dong, 1 2 3
wans: belle! ans!
belle: could you let me shit in peace?!
BURST OUT LAUGHING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
1:20 AM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
The bitter-sweetness
of this love-hate relationship
Escalates ironically
despite our situation now.
You're in obscurity,
while I'm scorched in its light.
Forgive me
My emotions flow irrepressibly.
12:09 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Question.
How would you know if Alice has spotted a cute guy?
She goes.. "wohhhh wohhhhhh."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
10:35 PM
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Omg.
A beauty unexpected.
7:12 PM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
If you want my honesty,
Yes, I am numbed, I'm used to being alone. In fact, sometimes, maybe the only emotion I can feel is bitterness. As much as I hate it, but I can't help but feel hypocritical at times when I'm out with all of you. Fitting in has always been my issue, but previously, you were there. And I don't feel that left out anymore.
Perhaps your 'departure' this time has really taught me that I shouldn't be reliant on anyone, not even the closest friend that I could ever have. It all boils down to myself, eventually. Myself to pick me up at my abysmal points, to stand up and protect myself. Pluspoint, I wouldn't be standing on the grounds of winding up in disappointment and hurt in the end.
It's not that I do not understand your situation, but in fact I completely do. You know I would. You even know that if I were in your shoes, I'd probably do the same thing too. But you never gave me notice or any form of indication of your 'temporary absence' from my life, of this 'drifting apart for awhile'. You just abruptly left me there to rot at one of the lowest points in my life. Especially when you knew of my situation and that you were the only one left that I thought I could actually rely on. You proved me wrong. Utterly wrong.
So what if you asked me out? Were you even aware of my presence? Seriously, what for? When the only person you talk to and see is her. To make yourself feel better that you're still a good friend? Honestly, it's as if you ask me out to leave me out. Sorry to say this, but fuck you for doing that to me when I was already crumbling apart inside. It made me question myself so many times whatever did I do to deserve any of this shit that I was going through.
And now you want everything to go back to normal, as it was before. Everytime, the same shit. You know how fucking sick I am of people trampling all over me, taking me for granted. And you just have to be one of them. You, the one who knows the most of me, the one who was my confidante, the one who claims to understand me best. Disappointed? Yea, I guess I am.
You know what, I just don't feel anything anymore. Not through this barrier that was built up during your 'absence'. By keeping people out, perhaps that's that only way I won't get hurt again.
2:03 AM
Alice says that Amalina looks like me in this picture.
So it turns out I'm as narcissistic as alice liaw?
I can so imagine the expression on Amalina's face if she ever reads my blog.
And omg, all the SHITT she has to say.
Hahahahaha.
1:42 AM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Wanyi says I look like Amalina in this picture.
Seriously? :/
Ha, but I feel like I'm adopting her lifestyle anyway.
I'm just..
Numbed. Apathetic. Whatever.
Sleeping. Lazing around. Watching TV.
Single, free and easy. Maybe caught up in a few ex-girls.
Love? Fucking bullshit until proven otherwise.
3:06 AM
So Valentines Day for me has breezed past.
Just like that.
Flowers were given to Amalina, Alice, Naz, and Sue.
Candies to Amalina, Wanyi, Tricia and Michelle(guesswho!).
And you know what?
That's it. Hahaha.
Sent Andrea off at the airport before having dinner with Wanyi and Rachel. Had fun though it was just us 3 PussyBRATdolls. HAHAHA. Feels really liberating, different from how I thought it'd feel spending it as a bona fide single this year, not truly liking anyone at all. Even my sister was shocked that I was back home so early this evening. Hoho. Celebrated my dear brother's 12th birthday too. And he just sleepwalked past the study to go to my mother's room to sleep at 3am in the morning. Hmmm.
And GUESS WHAT LA. My sister had a bouquet of a dozen pink roses delivered to her doorstep. Hahaha. FINALLY some romance man! Way to go!! But I don't like the guy tho. :/
ANYWAY. I want to cut my hair already.
I have a gazillion pimples popping out because of this "complicated" hairstyle as Naz calls it. Vagina man.
Oh, and I showed mom my tattoo alr. I'm so sick and tired of wondering how she'll react when she sees it, so I just showed it to her while watching TV. Haha. She smacked my hand, but aiyah not pain one.
Now for random updates.
Amalina dyed her hair, and it's longer now. I prefer her shorter hair.
I only look at malay girls now. Unless it's a super hot chinese girl.
No longer close to Cheryl so get used to seeing me without her.
All I want to do everyday is to watch TV TV TV and SLEEEEEEPPP.
Went to HardRock last sat and was DAMNNNN FUN.
Okay bohliao.
I want to go and sleep alr.
2:46 AM
Monday, February 13, 2006
It's gonna be belle's cheapest Valentines Day ever.
Well.. Maybe. :/
That thought just keeps coming back to me somehow.
One day left.
I don't know if I would go through with it.
Yes, you all will kill me if found out.
Happens all the time, doesn't it? Ha.
And for the first time,
Nobody knows it but me.
I abhor the loneliness
Yet it seems to be the only fitting thing in my life right now.
Lovely.
2:34 AM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Muse - Time Is Running OutIt's 0330hrs in the morning
and I just received your msg.
Your msg which was sent at 0124hrs.
(Annoying living room and its cocked reception)
"Yest I dreamt abt you."You're toying with my mind,
aren't you?
Inertia.
That's where you left me.
To experience your world of gray.
And now when my soul's crawling back,
out of that comatose,
you strike me once again.
1 Message Received.
It must be my eyes' deception.
You?
I missed a breath at that moment
I am.. Elated? Surprised? Befuddled?
I have missed you.
In fact, if all truth be told
now that the torpor's fading
I have no idea why
But for the past few nights,
I wish I could experience the smiles we shared all over again.
3:30 AM
Monday, February 06, 2006
As much as I hate you
I miss youNo matter how much I try
My heart unable to deny
Strangers before
Strangers again
Ephemeral it was
Farcically unbelievable
Though my heart never really belonged with you
My soul dissipated with your departure
Somehow
Your impression on me
Permanently etched
Erase it if I could
You left me
Saturation of loneliness
Emotionally almost dead
From a firm believer
To absolute nothingness
Out of your life
Abruptly
Just like that
Leave this heart of mine
Get out of my mind
I miss youHow much I wish not
1:55 AM
